drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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