There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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