just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
