If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
