there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
