Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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