I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
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week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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