My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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