sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
