can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I want to have your abortion
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
