I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
