I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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