I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
