so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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