I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
