sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I smell stomach acid.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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