fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
