I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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