Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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