hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
