ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
