im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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