i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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