If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
