Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
