so that wasnt chicken after all
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
