I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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