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• (208): View more from Idaho

  when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"

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• (949): View more from California

  i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?

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• (305): View more from Florida

  MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Figured I'd get right to the point

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.

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• (415): View more from California

  Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (650): View more from California

  So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  That is a dream.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.

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