he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10