ADVERTISEMENT

• (810): View more from Michigan

  The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!

  Fav 1 1468 2127

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I am absolutely hammered

  Fav 2 2394 1068

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (316): View more from Kansas

  I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

  Fav 32 3702 1372

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  You did not just nickname me "Nipples".

  Fav 22 4005 1713

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.

  Fav 14 4584 1301

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.

  Fav 39 1189 7913

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (606): View more from Kentucky

  He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk

  Fav 57 1116 15151

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there

  Fav 16 3089 1202

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level

  Fav 24 1514 3728

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.

  Fav 3 2912 1166

  share tweet
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card

  Fav 5 702 1276

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (970): View more from Colorado

  my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

  Fav 3 843 547

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?

  (469): View more from Texas

  I still had a cough. It only makes sense

  Fav 2 875 591

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'

  Fav 2 1108 413

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?

  Fav 3 541 307

  share tweet
  

Randomize