Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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