So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
