Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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