Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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