let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
