i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
