Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
