Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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