Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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