I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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