dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
