Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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