but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
