dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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