There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
