I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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