You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
