YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So much Jack, so little girl.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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