Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have aggressive nipples.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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