Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize