A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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