i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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