well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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