Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
