I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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