So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
