I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Bring me that man meat
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
