just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
