when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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